25 Ways to Annoy Captain Jack Sparrow
by ImitationPirateShip
Summary: I think it's self explanitory xD.
1. 25 Ways to Annoy Captain Jack

**I do not own POTC or rum or the color pink. Or running. I own nothing. I think. Relax and enjoy the show. Drop me a review when done please. :)

* * *

**

25 Ways to Annoy Captain Jack Sparrow

1. "Accidentally" throw all the rum overboard. Tell him 'It slipped'

2. Tell him Barbossa's hat is bigger

3. Sneak up behind him and yell "Oh no! It's Davy Jones!" And run away

4. Dye his hat pink

5. Wash all his clothes and THEN dye them pink. Add pink glitter.

6. Dye the _Pearl's _sails pink.

7. Sing the Elmo theme song over and over again.

8. Sing "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family" And run away.

9. Come up to him and ask "Are you a eunuch?" And run away.

10. Say "I like Will better" And run away.

11. Put toothpaste on his face while he's sleeping.

12. Steal his pants.

13. Ask him "You want rum? Well too bad!" And run away.

14. Repeat everything he says, and I mean _everything_.

15. Copy his hand motions.

16. Ask to borrow his kohl.

17. If he says no (which he will) use it anyways.

18. Tell him "Will is better in bed." And run away

19. NEVER let him catch you when you run away.

20. Constantly steal things from his cabin and throw them overboard.

21. Sneak up behind him and scrub him with soap.

22. Blow bubbles in his face.

23. Steal his compass

24. Constantly ask him if he wants a doughnut.

25. If he wants one, tell him you don't have one and want one too.


	2. 25 More Ways to Annoy Captain Jack

**GIGANTIC PROPS TO BARBARA!! SHE THOUGHT OF MOST OF THIS STUFF!! -WOOT- GO BARBARA!! I added a few words here and there thank you very much. **

Remember, I don't own Pirates.

25 More Ways to Annoy Captain Jack Sparrow

26. Let him catch you trying on his hat and clothes.

27. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

28. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated hand movements.

29. Insist he helps you with your daily newspaper crossword puzzle every day.

30. Follow a few steps behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

31. Steal, snap, and bury his hat.

32. Sign him up for Little League Baseball. With OMG! Third Graders :O!!

33. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

34. Get him to play Twister with you.

35. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.

36. Get him a plant. Act totally mortified when he doesn't water it and it dies.

37. Ask him to dance a polka with you.

38. Throw a Care Bears theme birthday party for him.

39. Buy him a stress ball. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.

40. Get the 'Peanut Butter Jelly Time' song stuck in his head.

41. Keep a 'good-behavior chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.

42. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

43. Dance the Funky Chicken Remix Dance.

44. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

45. Knit him things. REALLY hideous things..

46. Trade in his black hat for pink pajamas.

47. When he gives you an order, stare at him blankly and drool.

48. Slap his hand and say "Bad Jack! No rum!"

49. Twitch a lot when you eat dinner with him.

50. Smile. All the time.


	3. 25 More Ways to Annoy our Beloved Jack

**Author's Note: **Since you guys loves this so much, I've decided to add another list :)

Enjoy

PS. I've been seeing Barbie everywhere lately..

Aye! On with da show!

* * *

51. Buy him Crayola Crayons. Tell him "They complete you."

52. Watch the the scene in POTC1 when Jack tries to escape the British people while Jack is near. Tut and say that he could have fell and hurt Commodore Norrington.

53. Make Creme Brulee, and offer it to Jack. When he refuses, cry and run away.

54. Come to that, even if he wants Creme Brulee, act all heartbroken and run away.

55. When Jack wants rum, whisper loudly, "Remember, your docter Mr. Gay, said that you can't have rum. It can cause harm to you-know-what."

56. Pretend to drink all the rum, and when you're on deck yell, "Oh my god! I'm Jack Sparrow! This is how he walks." Walk a few steps and fall flat on your face.

57. Get the song "Barbie Girl" stuck in his head.

58. Tell Will that if he sings "Barbie Girl" with you, it'll annoy the living hell out of Jack.

59. Get the whole crew to sing "Barbie Girl"

60. Climb up to the crow's nest and scream as loud as you can, "COME ON BARBIE, LET'S GO PARTY!" Over and over again.

61. For his birthday, give him those three-foot-tall Barbies in a princess outfit.

62. Buy him a tiara from Claire's and put it on his head saying "There's a good Jackie-Poo. Go play princess with your friends."

63. Buy him a wedding dress saying, "I knew you wanted it for a long time! Isn't it purdy!?"

64. Only answer to the name "Mrs. Captain Jack Sparrow" (If you're a boy...um..yeah..)

65. Randomly come up to him asking "Where is the thumb-thumb?"

66. When he's in the bathroom, constantly ask "Do you need toilet paper dear?" In fromt of the whole crew.

67. When it's like 9:00 pm, come up to him and say "Time for your bath and sleepy-time, Jackie-Poo."

68. Do the things listed here over and over.

69. Throw happy birthday parties for him for no apparent reason.

70. At Jack's random birthday parties, make sure nobody brings gifts.

71. Buy a plastic steering wheel, and place it next to the ship's real one, so you can "steer" with Jack.

72. Buy Jack purple eyeliner, saying that nobody uses kohl anymore.

73. Take Jack's baby pictures and post them all over the internet.

74. Buy him a Bratz doll for Easter.

75. Instead of letting Jack drink rum, buy him non-alcoholic apple cyder.

* * *

**I've been depressed lately, so they might not be as funny.**

**I do hope you like this.**

**Remember, REVIEW!**

**Thanks very much**

**Popcorn Day USA**


	4. 25 More Ways to Annoy Jackie

**Author's Note: **Apparently you like this thing more than all my stories put together :)

Well, enjoy!

* * *

76. Draw a Black Spot on your hand.

77. Whenever Jack is "bad", threaten to tell his dear father.

78. Buy yourself a shrunken head. Take it EVERYWHERE with you.

79. Constantly imitate Elizabeth Swann falling off the _Black Pearl._ Do it badly.

80. Constantly remind him how he isn't immortal and Will is.

81. Draw pictures of him on the _Pearl _with Sharpie Marker.

82. Carry a sharpener with you. Sharpen anything you see.

83. Ask him every 3 ½ minutes if he needs his coal sharpened.

84. Sharpen the corners of his hat.

85. Sharpen his rings. I don't know how though…

86. Make all the sailors do a wave every 2 ¾ minutes.

87. Insist on going to SeaWorld and riding _The Kraken. _**(I did that before. It was MAD cool!) **

88. Scream "I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT!" At random times. Do it at least 82 times a day.

89. When Jack flirts with Scarlett and Giselle, slap him. Hard.

90. Make him cinnamons buns on Tuesdays. Make sure he eats all 50 of them.

91. If he doesn't, threaten to breed Krakens.

92. Pretend you're the Kraken.

93. Repeat this phrase, "They can suction your face right off…"

94. When you repeat the above phrase, carry a toilet plunger.

95. **By Hell is Freezing Over: **Buy him a poodle and act mortified when he tosses it overboard.

96. Go to Disney and insist on going on the _Peter Pan_ ride. Point out Captain Hook.

97. Tell Jack that if he'll be _really _bad, you'll set the ticking crocodile on him.

98. Be his biggest fan.

99. Stalk him.

100. Tell him that if he doesn't kiss you, you'd murder everyone he knows. If he does, stalk him begging for more.


End file.
